I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
that is very illegal...i love you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
