I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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