So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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