booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
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Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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