Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
