end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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