I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
