Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
