I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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