I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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