office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
