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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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