I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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