easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
