Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
