i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize