its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
