Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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