not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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