I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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