Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You can't motorboat a personality
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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