Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
