Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
