Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
why do cheetos always look like penises
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
