i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
