Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
