it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
