WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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