Having a random hookup so left but love u
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
