I'm really into asian looking animals
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
