How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea