I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
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You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY