So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
then he tried to convert me to islam
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.