we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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