we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
