But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
