Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
