it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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