I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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