oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize