but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
