we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
