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• (805): View more from California

  im having a threesome with these popsicles

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too

  (613): View more from Ontario

  This was before halftime

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.

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