i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
