How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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