fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
