On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The struggles of a small town man whore
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
