I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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