this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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