Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
