adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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