Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
