A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
