He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
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So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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