Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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