shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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