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I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
