the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
