im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
