dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
