At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
