A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
