wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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