So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
