I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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